Tuesday, July 7, 2009

18 and counting...

Scott and I honored 18 years of married life yesterday. He took the day off and we just spent it together doing this life that God's given us. We went to the grocery store together where he got to see first hand how the grocery bill can be so big so easily, then took the boys swimming and we basked in the sun while they bickered endlessly. We then went home and took naps before going out to a delicious dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse where the Parmesan Crusted Chicken is delectable and the dessert in the form of a mountain of chocolate cake with 7 kinds of chocolate isn't so bad either! The bill was covered by a gift card from his company honoring Scott's hard work... which made it even more delicious. We rounded out the evening sitting around our fire pit in the night air with our boys...talking and saying nothing at all.

I can't help but look back at the 18 years that Scott and I have lived this life together and wonder how we have made it this far. Scott grew up in a family where staying together was just what you do... I grew up seeing relationships scattered in broken pieces around me. It's not always been easy. Like all marriages, we have loved deeply and wounded even deeper.

Eighteen years ago, I was a 20 year old bride with stars in my eyes for a boy who loved and adored me like no other had and I was smitten. I'm not that same girl anymore though. I get really ornery sometimes. I get mad and scrappy when I feel disrespected. I'm not as shapely as I use to be... although round is a shape. I can be harsh, guarded, skeptical and unafraid to stand up for myself.
That said. I am blessed beyond measure that this boy not only loved me, but loved God and cared about the things God cares about. His heart would continue to desire to honor God and as a result, he continues to honor me and the vows our young hearts made so many years ago. Because some days, the easiest thing to do would be to find something better... easier... prettier... more fun. But that's not what love does...
It holds on when you feel like letting go. It forgives offenses and grants grace to the offender.... knowing well, that one day, you will need the same forgiveness and the same grace in return.

I'm still learning to believe that we will be old together... but I believe it more each day. History has shown me that people can stay together for a lifetime but many simply don't choose to do so. I'm learning that there are warriors that guard fragile marriages... forgiveness, grace, kindness, laughter, playfulness and an unwavering commitment to always be willing to be a participant in all of the above at any moment.

So Scott, thank you for choosing me to be your wife all those years ago, and for continuing to choose me in all the days that have and will follow... for better or worse... for all the days of our life. I love you... I'd still choose you and I look forward to being old, sagging, wrinkly lovers!