Focus

I had the day off yesterday...and was down. Maybe a case of 24-hour depression. Nothing serious, but I could tell something was off. Couldn't put my finger on it, though. I thought maybe I was just having an off-day. I don't know if you noticed, but I didn't even blog. As the day progressed today, I snapped out of it. I got my mind around things of work and seemed to spring back.

Then, today at work, I did an on-line personal strengths assessment for a team-building exercise a group of us are doing next week. It's from the book called, "Strengths Finder 2.0". As I was taking the assessment (which is suppose to identify what I'm good at), it hit me. I know why I was off yesterday.


The day before yesterday (Sunday), I went and practiced with an improv group that invited me to give it a try. The anticipation was palatable. I was looking forward to this. This kind of stuff makes me feel alive. It's the little things in life, isn't it?

The 3.5 hours of practice went well at first. My creative juices were flowing and it felt good. But as the evening progressed, I could tell I was running out of those juices. My creative "umph" was waning. I was as creative as a paint-by-numbers by the end of the night.


Hindsight is a gift.


It donned on me today that I was focusing on my weaknesses, rather than seeing my strengths. (If Chris were reading this, he would know exactly what I was talking about).


I was mentally going over every missed opportunity and dead spot. I was analyzing each situation and coming up with options that I should have said or done. I was comparing myself to others and my own expectations...and that's always a bad idea. I never measure up. I didn't spend any time analyzing the scenes I thought I did well.

Don't we always do that? It's so much easier to find our faults than recognize our strengths.

So I'm letting it go. It's in the past. So I choked a few times on Sunday but that doesn't define me for the future...or define who I am.